Personal Development and Judging

I decided to put forth the effort and invest in my personal development, which I am sure will not only benefit my personal life, but my professional life as well. Of course, the only way to make this happen, is to not only take in the knowledge, but apply it as well. Duh!! I have placed my attention towards a genre of development outlets such as: an audio book from John C. Maxwell on The 5 Levels of Leadership, a book by Dani Johnson regarding First Steps to Wealth and a book by Don Miguel Ruiz addressing The Voice of Knowledge.

Learning to look within myself, recognize my weaknesses, work off of my strengths, admit that nobody is perfect, and understand that we all have things happen in our lives that create who we are and how we choose to handle those happenings, not only has an impact on us but those around us. We all have something positive to contribute, but it sometimes appears that being negative is the easier route to take, yet we never notice the impact it inadvertently has on ourselves and directly on others.

I looked on Facebook the other day and saw an advertisement for P90X and next to the advertisement was a photo of one of the Top 5 Elite Coaches-meaning that this person has invested a lot, I mean a lot of time on their personal development and working with people. I had seen this coach on occasion at events Jo-Anne and I had been to for Beachbody, but this coach and I had never spoken. The coaches team members would speak about and support their coach with the highest of praise and appreciation. When I saw the P90X post, with the advertisement photo, I began reading the responses to the post. I became instantly offended by a majority of the posts and protective of this coach with whom I have never personally met. The persons posting the negative and extremely JUDGMENTAL comments had never met this coach either. How could I tell??? Well, not once did any of the naysayers mention this coaches name and those who did mention it, defended this coach because they either spoke to, knew or had seen the positive things this coach had done for their team or for others (like I did). All the JUDGES did during their posts was attack this coaches physical appearance (one of the coaches assets) without blinking an eye. Then when other negative people jumped on the band wagon, that seemed to give more ammunition to the original naysayers to criticize even more. Never once did they seem to blink an eye that they were judging someone they didn’t even know and knew nothing about. We have all judged but WHEN DOES JUDGMENT DAY STOP????

This got me to thinking. What made all of these 30+ people verbally attack this person they did not know. Where they intimidated, jealous, insecure over things this coach possessed that they didn’t?

Without knowing someone, how many times do we sit in judgment and exhibit negative thoughts or comments to others and about others that we may or may not know? I thought to myself, who am I to judge anyone? I am not perfect. I have my flaws and insecurities……I was raised without money, fought my demons with food, was in a physically bad relationship, am currently in a relationship supported by some and bashed upon by most, those who are too busy making judgments to take the time to see the whole picture.

How am I to succeed both professionally and personally if I have a preconceived belief of others and not a true hold and identity of myself. Don Miguel Ruiz said, “As little children, we are completely authentic. We never pretend to be what we are not. Our tendency is to play and explore, to live in the moment, to enjoy life. No body teaches us to be that way; we are born that way.”

I have learned to believe that even as adults we are authentic and to judge others only places us at a disadvantage from being able to learn from those who too are authentic. If I lived in a world of everyone like me, I would go crazy. Some people were either born with or given advantage over others, but everyone has their faults, either closeted or with the front door wide open. Some people say that there is only one individual that has the right to judge and I can’t disagree with that.

What makes one person better than another??? If anyone can answer that for me, then let the world be one huge courtroom, but until someone can answer that for me, I will continue to focus on things that I am learning within and about myself. Dani Johnson: “In order to get where you want to go, something has to change.” “If you focus on loosing, then you will loose” and the #1 mistake people make is lack of focus. Focus on the negative gets you 0. Focus negatively on people and I believe you will get distrust and disliked = being unsuccessful and unhappy.

Focusing on ways to make yourself better and going through personal development maybe gives less time for judgment and more time for your successes.

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2 Responses to “Personal Development and Judging”

  1. Very well said Michelle. It is very easy to be negative and judgemental. I think growth comes when we choose to go the higher road, respect and value others for who they are and where they have come from, discover our own strengths and weaknesses, and learn how to build a better person and life for ourselves from that. An ongoing journey!

  2. Nikki says:

    Great post. The key is authenticity, which is a word that I’ve been learning about in professional workshops over the past couple of years: Authenticity in the classroom if you’re an instructor, authenticity within your team at work, etc. And in order to be truly authentic, we have to embrace our faults. Your post also reminded me of another important thing: in order to embrace ourselves, we have to remember and accept that we will make mistakes, and acknowledging that, and our mistakes, leads us inner truth.

    I love the part about negativity too.

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