Posts Tagged ‘personal development’

Stress and Relationships

Monday, November 11th, 2013

By no means am I saying that I am a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist or have a doctorate in anything except a doctorate of life and am a doctorate of my own opinion.  When it comes to stress and the affects it has on life, I can tell you that your health is one of the first things to feel it.  Your pulse increases, blood pressure rises, heart is pumping harder and faster than it probably should, but the reason it’s working so hard isn’t out of enjoyment, it’s out of tension you are unknowingly, or knowingly placing on your body.

You are putting stress on your mind, tension in your brain, “insane in the membrane”.  So many synapses firing in the brain can make you just feel so uneasy and headaches, migraines, etc…come on full speed.  The stress of things might make you feel as if you have lost control over things and even of yourself.images

BUT, how do you deal with stress so it doesn’t ruin a relationship?  Again, these are just my opinions and things that I truly believe I need to start applying myself. FIGURE OUT WHAT IS BOTHERING YOU!!!  That way, when you are communicating with your partner, you will have a true grasp of what needs to be talked about and in dire need of being addressed, rather that just throwing random things out in the open that have no relevance or urgency as to the cause of your stress.  If it is something that is happening in your relationship that is causing the stress, then deal with it directly.  No one like a person who just talks in circles because that not only makes people dizzy but causes added stress and tension to the conversation.

STAY CONNECTED!!!  Again, communicate with the person you entrust your secrets to and who has been through your good and bad days.  Make time for one another.  Remove yourself from the outside going-ons and just “be” together.  Do things together that make you both happy and that you can laugh at, take pleasure in and “just be.”

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MAINTAIN INTIMACY!!!!  Whether it be a surprise kiss, a longing and affectionate embrace or the obvious of what intimacy is to most people, DON’T LOOSE TOUCH (literally).  Even though life might be stressful at the moment, that intimacy could lessen, alleviate, relieve that unwanted pressure running through your body and mind.  Sex not only lessens stress, but counts as exercise, lowers heart attack risk, improves sleep,and of course has many more positive contributions to your body.  OH and IT HELPS YOU STAY CONNECTED!!!

Lastly, FIND BALANCE!!!  Whether that be in your personal life or professional life, try to balance things out. Eliminate things that aren’t needed or delegate things to take the weight off of your shoulders.  BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE. I think there is some truth to taking 10 deep breathes to help you regain focus, control and calm your self. I think I need about 20 or more sometimes, but hey it’s a work in progress.

So, these are just a few things that I think might be helpful in addressing stress in your life so it doesn’t affect your health your relationships.

Does exercising make you think too much?

Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

So before I venture out to start my work day on a bicycle, I wanted to reflect with you about my day yesterday while riding around. My job entails responding to helping people, approaching suspicious people, being a visible presence, etc…. So in between most of these duties, I have a lot of time to just think. I believe moving around, taking in what’s around you in silence and just being alone gives people a lot of time to think. Yesterday I thought a lot about my future. How I need to make a major decision in my life for the best, but that by making the decision, I am venturing into the unknown. Would you leave a job that you have had for the past 15 years that you were once very passionate about, but now you just go through the motions?  Do you continue to “just be” once the passion is almost gone or has completely dissipated? Do you keep going through the motions hoping that one day the passion will return?brain-thinking

It is good to know, day to day, what to expect when you have already “settled” into the life you have now, but is your health and happiness at stake by “settling”?  Are you putting the well-being of your family at risk too because you might fear change.  “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear”- Rosa Parks

The previous quote answers the question for me of what I must do. My mind is made up so what do I have to be afraid of? Failing in whatever venture I take on? Well yes, to some, failing is a part of life and that is how we learn, but I think to succeed you must fail in some things, but not in all. It is that one small piece to where you don’t fail that the little light of hope comes through and with that little light, I will use it to make my passion for fitness and helping other make me successful. For me, success will amount to greater health and happiness.

So YES, exercising does make me think too much.

Personal Development and Judging

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

I decided to put forth the effort and invest in my personal development, which I am sure will not only benefit my personal life, but my professional life as well. Of course, the only way to make this happen, is to not only take in the knowledge, but apply it as well. Duh!! I have placed my attention towards a genre of development outlets such as: an audio book from John C. Maxwell on The 5 Levels of Leadership, a book by Dani Johnson regarding First Steps to Wealth and a book by Don Miguel Ruiz addressing The Voice of Knowledge.

Learning to look within myself, recognize my weaknesses, work off of my strengths, admit that nobody is perfect, and understand that we all have things happen in our lives that create who we are and how we choose to handle those happenings, not only has an impact on us but those around us. We all have something positive to contribute, but it sometimes appears that being negative is the easier route to take, yet we never notice the impact it inadvertently has on ourselves and directly on others.

I looked on Facebook the other day and saw an advertisement for P90X and next to the advertisement was a photo of one of the Top 5 Elite Coaches-meaning that this person has invested a lot, I mean a lot of time on their personal development and working with people. I had seen this coach on occasion at events Jo-Anne and I had been to for Beachbody, but this coach and I had never spoken. The coaches team members would speak about and support their coach with the highest of praise and appreciation. When I saw the P90X post, with the advertisement photo, I began reading the responses to the post. I became instantly offended by a majority of the posts and protective of this coach with whom I have never personally met. The persons posting the negative and extremely JUDGMENTAL comments had never met this coach either. How could I tell??? Well, not once did any of the naysayers mention this coaches name and those who did mention it, defended this coach because they either spoke to, knew or had seen the positive things this coach had done for their team or for others (like I did). All the JUDGES did during their posts was attack this coaches physical appearance (one of the coaches assets) without blinking an eye. Then when other negative people jumped on the band wagon, that seemed to give more ammunition to the original naysayers to criticize even more. Never once did they seem to blink an eye that they were judging someone they didn’t even know and knew nothing about. We have all judged but WHEN DOES JUDGMENT DAY STOP????

This got me to thinking. What made all of these 30+ people verbally attack this person they did not know. Where they intimidated, jealous, insecure over things this coach possessed that they didn’t?

Without knowing someone, how many times do we sit in judgment and exhibit negative thoughts or comments to others and about others that we may or may not know? I thought to myself, who am I to judge anyone? I am not perfect. I have my flaws and insecurities……I was raised without money, fought my demons with food, was in a physically bad relationship, am currently in a relationship supported by some and bashed upon by most, those who are too busy making judgments to take the time to see the whole picture.

How am I to succeed both professionally and personally if I have a preconceived belief of others and not a true hold and identity of myself. Don Miguel Ruiz said, “As little children, we are completely authentic. We never pretend to be what we are not. Our tendency is to play and explore, to live in the moment, to enjoy life. No body teaches us to be that way; we are born that way.”

I have learned to believe that even as adults we are authentic and to judge others only places us at a disadvantage from being able to learn from those who too are authentic. If I lived in a world of everyone like me, I would go crazy. Some people were either born with or given advantage over others, but everyone has their faults, either closeted or with the front door wide open. Some people say that there is only one individual that has the right to judge and I can’t disagree with that.

What makes one person better than another??? If anyone can answer that for me, then let the world be one huge courtroom, but until someone can answer that for me, I will continue to focus on things that I am learning within and about myself. Dani Johnson: “In order to get where you want to go, something has to change.” “If you focus on loosing, then you will loose” and the #1 mistake people make is lack of focus. Focus on the negative gets you 0. Focus negatively on people and I believe you will get distrust and disliked = being unsuccessful and unhappy.

Focusing on ways to make yourself better and going through personal development maybe gives less time for judgment and more time for your successes.